Are you his Number 1?

Let's start with definitions;

Reacher; This is somebody who went for somebody that they felt was totally out of their league. Somebody they felt they didn't deserve. So, they stood on their tippy toes, and stretched their arms and managed to reach the other person with their fingertips. And they were just happy that they managed to get to them.

Settler; Somebody who feels they are better and therefore feels they deserve better. But the reacher chose to reach for them, so they stuck around. Mainly because it makes THEM the undisputable leader in the relationship. They hold all the cards.

I have often heard it being said that the really good looking guys often date plain girls. At first, I accepted the simple explanation that the guy fell for her inner beauty. And that he fell in love with all her other qualities. But it turns out, this is actually half the picture. He is a settler. Now, I am sure we all look at ourselves and think that we are beautiful and attractive. But, the fact of the matter is. We all know when somebody is totally out of our league.

When somebody is so much better looking or smarter or richer or more eligible than us. Then, miraculously, this wonderful dream of a person seems to fall for us. Sadly, you might be the victim of a settler. He/ she specifically chose you, knowing that;
1. You are actually going to be grateful he chose you over so many beautiful women in the world.
2. As a result, you will NEVER look at another man.
3. And you will be so much more tolerant of his crap, he will get away with anything. A woman who settles, knows that the guy will break his BACK trying to please her, because in his heart of hearts, he knows she deserves better than him. Likewise, a man who settles, gets away with treating the woman like dirt, just because she doesn't feel worthy of his love.

Let me ask some questions. In your relationship;

1. Who does the most calling?
2. Who always wants to see the other (apart from meeting for sex)?
3. Who always apologises after a fight (regardless of who was wrong)?
4. Who always forgives the same old crap?
If the answer to all or most of these is You, you have some self-esteem issues to resolve. You somehow believe that the person you are with is the best you could do. And that's why you are sticking around for their crap. You deserve better.

If he has mysteriously disappeared again; Don't keep calling him and nagging him. He loses respect for you with every call. And don't sit up til the sun rises, wondering where he is. Lord knows he is NOT thinking about you wherever he is. If he wanted to talk to you, I guarantee you he would have, by now. At the very least, his very first thought when he wakes up in the morning should have been you.
But it wasn't.

Get the message. You are not that high on his priority list. Find somebody who puts you at Number 1 on his list. Cos he ain't the one.

Wakeup Woman.....