The One That Got Away

There's this friend of mine, let's call her Ms P. Every time she breaks up with her man, she doesn't even announce it to the world. She doesn't tell many people and she doesn't even change her relationship status on Facebook. It permanently shows "In a relationship with T"

But she takes it a step further. Even if she starts dating a new guy, she will say "I am on a date with T". If she goes and visits the new guy, she will still say "I am visiting T".

Do you know why she does this? Because she always finds her way back into T's arms. So whoever she is with also knows that he is actually with T's girl. Every man that comes into her life is temporary, because she will always end up with T.

 My question to you; How many of you are guilty of this? How many of you make any and every man that comes into your life feel like a seat filler for your ex? Don't know what a seat filler is? Let me tell you;

At many high profile award ceremonies, which obviously get televised, they don't like having empty seats showing on camera. So if one of the stars decides to go to the toilet or whatever, they employ people, dressed in a tuxedo and everything, who is always on standby, waiting to fill the seat. That way, whenever the camera swings past the auditorium, they will always get a perfect full house. When the bigshot comes back, the seat filler gets up and gives the star his seat back.

So how many of you make the man in your life feel like he may be in the seat next to you, but he is just not the real thing? Like he is just guarding somebody else's seat for him. You'll even tell him that he looks "really cute" in his little tux and that he really could pass for a celebrity, to the untrained eye. But he knows in his heart that he is not the real deal.

If you do this to a man who really IS a seat filler, it is selfish. But at least he knows where he stands. But the moment you do that, because you really have no intention of ever going back to your ex....well, then you are sabotaging your relationship. Your relationship is doomed from day one if you will constantly be making your man feel like he has these great shoes to fill.

Let's do a quick test.

1. If your new man doesn't know any other ex's name except this particular one, even though you have dated other people after him.
2. If, when you say "my ex" he immediately knows who you are talking about, because all the other ex's are irrelevant.
3. If your eyes still gloss over when you talk about how wonderful a man your ex was, even when you are talking about him in your new man's presence.
4. If, you consider and even refer to your ex as "The one that got away"

Trust me.....you are making your new man a seat filler. You are making your man live under the shadow of your ex. And no matter how secure a man can be, no man on the face of the earth wants to spend the rest of his life knowing that you are actually settling for him, when the one is out there.

Let Mr Perfect go. Or go back to him. It really is that simple. Anything less than that is grossly unfair.