I have been asked this question literally every month, so, let me put it to rest. Why do men react so much worse to being cheated on than women do?
Let us start at the beginning. There are many more women in this country than there are men. More importantly, though, there are a lot less ELIGIBLE men than there are women. No wonder you always hear the phrase “All the good ones are taken”. Men know this. And we also know that when we settle down with a woman, there are 9 others that we could have chosen who were quite eligible as well.
Let us also not forget that generally, the female of the species tend to be more eager to nest and settle down, while the males want to run around and conquer every woman on the planet. Let’s face it, there are not too many 29 year old men running around, desperately looking for a wife because they planned to be married by the age of 30. Settling down is more of a “Ok…enough already! Let me settle down.” kind of concession.
It is VERY different with women.
So, when a man settles down with you, he really does feel that he has made MANY sacrifices for you. He feels that he left so many women behind just for YOU. And, dare I say it, he feels that you should be grateful that he made such a sacrifice just for you.
Here’s another thing. In general, men are able to separate emotions from sex. We are generally capable of having sex with a woman, even if we feel absolutely nothing for her, and as such we often wonder what the big deal is when you catch us and we go; “But baby, it was just sex. She meant nothing to me!”
Now…..this is where it gets interesting. Men generally think that WOMEN are incapable of separating sex from emotions. So, if a woman cheats on a man, he assumes that she is in love with the guy. Therefore, his reaction to being cheated on is much worse. I think deep down inside, we also believe that when a woman has been pushed so far as to cheat, it means you have pushed her too far. But instead of taking the blame for your actions which pushed her to far, we get mad and blame her.
The truth of the matter is, we also conveniently forget that the women we are cheating with…are also WOMEN. And let’s face it, we keep telling ourselves that they will never fall in love with us. And sometimes they do. But even if they didn’t…that would prove the fact that women are then capable of separating love from sex after all.
What amuses me the most, though, is the fact that, as I said before, if a man gets caught cheating, he will spend the rest of time worried that YOU are going to have revenge sex. So he immediately stops trusting you. He starts treating you like a cheat. Most importantly, though, even if he catches you FLIRTING with a guy, he will keep bringing that up as if you actually cheated. He will feel that you are even, now.
In his mind, that makes him feel better (even if he doesn’t say it)…like “Ok, you got your revenge, now. I hope you are happy now.” So, from THAT point on, you are NEVER allowed to bring up his cheating, because he will throw YOUR “cheating episode” (meaning your little flirtation) back in your face.
I know….weird, right?
